Long time no blog. Its been a very long time since I have even thought about blogging. This blog is just like the diary that I start, write two entries then forget about for a few years only to find it open it go, oh I wrote stuff in here and then write some more. Course reading a diary over again gives me a much better view of who I am or rather who I was when I wrote that particualar entry.
 Anyway if you hadn't noticed I am rambling a bit. A sad habit that I have picked up. I am rambling because I am very bored. Working is boring.  Being an adult is boring. The only good thing about this is I am getting paid to be bored. Paid well if I might add.
Anyway the summer has turned out to be an interesting one. Coming home after being away for a year is strange. I am not sure what to do with myself and I often end up wondering mindlessly because I left all my friends in Ohio. Friends whom I miss alot. Some more then others, it seems strange to think my home is more in Ohio then it is in Michigan. I mean I have lived in Michigan for 17 years of my life, can one year of college change that? Who knows, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Something they forget to tell you about peer pressure..

I never had a problem saying no. No it is not a hard word for me to say. So I was never worried about peer pressure. Because if I knew how to say no, I was cool.

So college rolls around and I start actually having a somewhat active social life (like parties, I had a social life back home but it was different more chill hanging out less party hanging out) Of course with parties came alcohol. As I predicted I had no trouble saying no to the smelly gross stuff that makes people act like idiots.

But then as the weeks rolled around and party after party happened I realized saying no to drinking wasn't my problem. I needed to learn how to say no to the parties. I always have a insecurity that if I don't do everything that I am invited to I will be considered anti social or worse I will miss something. Which leads me to try and do everything. This was never a problem before because there wasn't that much going on. Here thats different, the swimmers believe it or not have a very active social agenda (that changes once season starts) and like to party. So far I have gone to everything. It was only after I went to a fraternity party that I had mis-givings about did I realize something. You know the stereotype of the college fraternity those awful drunk, drug giving parties. Well my mis-givings were valid. I was very uncomfortable, a lot of people were drunk and the music was loud. And I sat watching everything feeling very overwhelmed.

Which is why I left about a hour in.

That is what I learned this weekend. Listen to your instincts. They usually are correct. There will be other social gatherings and other parties that you can go to.

Those are my words of wisdom for the day.

Just SAY NO (to drugs, alcohol, parties, anything involving humans, fun things). Just kidding.

Adult Responsibilities

I was about two hours into a road trip when I had this thought:

Driving takes mutual trust. That is a fact. You have to trust that the people on road with you are going to do the right thing. Like stop at stop signs and turn their blinkers on. They are are trusting you to do the same. This mutual trust is especially important on the highway. You get in a car that is going 70 miles a hour and drive it around other people.

I forgot about this thought I had till, I hit the city Dayton. Let me tell you something you might not be aware of. The highway through Dayton is under construction. Stop and go traffic a given. Specially around 6'o'clock on a work day.

Earlier we have established trusting the motorist around you right? Brace yourself for this irony. I realized something.

You shouldn't trust me.

Really its nothing against me as a person. I am very nice and trustworthy but my reaction time is iffy.

Which is why I found myself in a random parking lot giving out my insurance information and my phone number saying sorry over and over again.

I want to give anyone who has never been in a fender bender on the highway some advice. I don't claim to be an expert but I think this will help if you have never been in any sort of accident.

1.) Do not try and get information on the highway. If your car is drivable and the person you hit trustworthy (mutual trust again) get their phone number then get off the highway! I made the mistake of trying to talk to my dad on the highway. Which made it worse because the cars going by at 70 miles per hour don't go silent when you are on the phone

2.) Take all the information they take, it doesn't matter who hit who, it is better safe then sorry as far as information goes. You never know what you might need to know. Pictures help too.

3.) Make sure you shake their hand and if you hit them say your sorry in the most sincere way possible. After all if it is your fault. This is the polite thing to do.

And Remember as long as no one got hurt, its okay. It is just a car and cars can be fixed. This thought might help calm your nerves.

So the important thing to take out of this post is, Don't trust me.

Just kidding

It is actually, remember accidents happen. Life will go on. (trust me on that)

Books

Dear Barnes & Noble,

Well Congratulations you are now the only big name book store left. I will try and not make this letter sound bitter. Actually scratch that, I am very bitter. I have been going to borders since I was a little. I have some very fond memories of Borders. I went to all the midnight releases for the Harry Potter books there. I remember hiding under the tables waiting for midnight to get my copy. I remember running from activity to activity. The anticipation when I finally got the book after standing in line for over a hour. Staying up all night reading and racing my brother to see who got done first. Eating and drinking were put on hold till I made it to the very end. Course Borders was a little part of that but still, it was always the place I went if I needed a new book or information.

So I want you to know a few things. If you are going to start being the bookstore that I go to, you need to change your ways. One you need more locations preferable one in N--. Of course I know thats partly why Borders went out of business (over stretching themselves but I don't care.) I also know that they didn't embrace the new "electronic book" like you did. Technology is great and everything but I hate electronic books. I can not stand them and anyone who thinks or wants books real books, to be replace by nooks or e-books I dislike. So stop encouraging people to buy electronic books. I want to feel the paper and smell the real book. I am sure other book worms know what I am talking about.

Your view on twilight also needs to change. Twilight is not a terrific read and never will be a terrific read. I can see how the culture who enjoys Jersey Shore can enjoy it but I am not part of that crowd. In fact most of the people who go to bookstores are not part of that crowd. So stop shoving it in my face.

So congratulations on getting rid of your main competition. But I warn you, if you don't shape up, you will go the same way Borders did.

Yours sincerely,

A valuable customer.

Disclaimer: Just in case anyone is wondering this is mainly a joke and my way of mourning Borders bankruptcy. I am not actually threatening anyone or any store.

Was I right?

A question that plagues me now a days.

Did I make the right choice?

Am I going to the right college?

Should I have held longer?

I blame my indecisiveness on being human. I mean you don't see animals pacing back in fourth trying to decide if they made the right choice in killing that animal so they could eat it. Of course animals usually have smaller less complicated brains.

I want answers. But there sadly is no angel or even a devil on my should telling me I did the right thing. Rather there is an old timid lady sitting in her rocking chair trying to decide whether she made the right choice in colleges 100 years ago.

Football

What do you do around eleven on a Tuesday evening? Sleep HA no. I write blog posts. Crappy blog posts but posts all the same. I just finished watching Friday Night lights. Which is one of those crappy motivational sports movies. Except this one is no where near as good as Remember the Titans. It isn't motivational. Or thats what I was thinking as I watched them lose their big game. Then I realized its not about the winning, its about what they learned from the experience. Which is a great lesson. Sometimes you get so sucked into "winning" that you forget why you were playing in the first place. I think that winning is great but its not the most important thing in the world.

Wow Profound I know. Other then that bit of wisdom, the movie sucked. Like I said it was no where near Remember the Titans which is how I gauge sports movies. On one hand it relied on the football player stereotype (you know big stupid, hunky and complete a-holes) and on the other hand they cried like ever four seconds. Which is fine but I mean seriously there was no character development. And the fact that they didn't win their big game was really depressing. Being the sap that I am I hated that. I hate depressing movies.

You know how at the end, they scroll what each player achieved in their lives? Normally they move on to big and better things. Not these guys, they moved on to be insurance salesmen and truck drivers. I am not kidding. I was expecting something oh you know motivational. I guess that is to much to ask from a crappy sports movie..


The only reason to watch the movie. Or if you like football.

Graduated? Graduated.

I will be the first to admit I am in a foul mood. I know its bad. I wish I could be in an unfoul mood. I mean a lot of things have happened in this week that I should be happy about. First I experienced my very last day of high school. I will never go back to high school. Second is I graduated. I wanted across the stage and shook each of the nameless school board hand, smiled for the cameras and accepted the diploma. An accomplishment that some will never have on their resume. Then the all night party, a fun night where I hung out with all the friends that I have made over the past four years. I love them, they are the nicest group of people I have ever known. They accept me for me instead of me having to change who I am. I think thats a huge blessing for me to have this early in my life.

But even with all these blessings I am still in a foul mood. I wish I could figure out why, maybe its because of all the changes. Or its the relationship things that have been causing me stress. Certain ideas of how relationships work and how they actually work. An overly active imagination and a lack of communication. I want to text said person but he doesn't text me so in order for my pride to stay in tack I don't text him. A great stragety right? Course he probably is just going on with his life with out noticing. He probably doesn't even realize anything is wrong. Because I am a drama queen. When did I turn into such a melodramatic?
Bittersweet is a good word for the feelings that occur during graduation.

I hope I didn't depress anyone and I am not really looking for sympathy, I really just needed to get these feelings off my chest. It doesn't quite feel the same when I write it in a diary. I mean its sort of dangerous to put it up on the web but who cares? I am living life on the edge! Just kidding. Maybe if he reads this he will understand. Maybe..