Graduated? Graduated.

I will be the first to admit I am in a foul mood. I know its bad. I wish I could be in an unfoul mood. I mean a lot of things have happened in this week that I should be happy about. First I experienced my very last day of high school. I will never go back to high school. Second is I graduated. I wanted across the stage and shook each of the nameless school board hand, smiled for the cameras and accepted the diploma. An accomplishment that some will never have on their resume. Then the all night party, a fun night where I hung out with all the friends that I have made over the past four years. I love them, they are the nicest group of people I have ever known. They accept me for me instead of me having to change who I am. I think thats a huge blessing for me to have this early in my life.

But even with all these blessings I am still in a foul mood. I wish I could figure out why, maybe its because of all the changes. Or its the relationship things that have been causing me stress. Certain ideas of how relationships work and how they actually work. An overly active imagination and a lack of communication. I want to text said person but he doesn't text me so in order for my pride to stay in tack I don't text him. A great stragety right? Course he probably is just going on with his life with out noticing. He probably doesn't even realize anything is wrong. Because I am a drama queen. When did I turn into such a melodramatic?
Bittersweet is a good word for the feelings that occur during graduation.

I hope I didn't depress anyone and I am not really looking for sympathy, I really just needed to get these feelings off my chest. It doesn't quite feel the same when I write it in a diary. I mean its sort of dangerous to put it up on the web but who cares? I am living life on the edge! Just kidding. Maybe if he reads this he will understand. Maybe..

Goals

I have some goals, like lifetime goals, swimming goals, school goals, and personal goals. But most of them are long term. Like one
is to own a successful resort in a warm place. A swimming goal is to go sub five minutes in my 500.

But I have a new goal. Its more short term and probably much more important. I want to be more nice to my sister. I never had trouble getting along with Gabe (its a twin thing) sure we had our rough patches but we were always able to understand each other because we are going through a lot of the same things. But my sister she is different. I don't know what it is but we can never really see eye to eye. Partly pride on my part and partly teenage stubbornness on her part. So we are both at fault. I always rationalized that arguing and not getting along with your siblings is normal. But is it? I mean shouldn't I be nicer to my family then I am to friends or even strangers? Well thats not how I am. I wish thats how I was. Another of my excuses (an excuse I use to feel less guilty) is that once I grow up and she grows up we will magically get along and we will have the best relationship ever.

I hate to break it to you guys but that doesn't happen and I have realized this. So my goal is to go a day without arguing with her and without saying a snide word.

Now it doesn't count if I don't see her or don't have a conversation with her because whats the point of that? I am going to be the bigger person as of today

Prom

I meant to write this a couple days after prom but I forgot. Or merely didn't have the motivation to write it. Anyway I went to prom it was fun.
Two things that particularly I noticed.
1.) Dancing is just not my thing, Of course I already new this but it became very obvious to me as I began to try and dance in the massively large dress that I picked out. At least at homecoming you have a short dress which doesn't inhibit movement. Anyway its fine as long as you dance with your friends because they don't care.
2.) As I was dancing poorly, it was funny I was swaying listening to the music when all the sudden, a girl (who will go nameless for her benefit and mine) started having a conversation with another girl, which is okay most of the time but she was talking about COLLEGE. Who talks about college at prom? Seriously that was the last thing on my mind at that exact time. I can't figure out why she would do something like that. No offense to her or anything but really when your dancing you don't talk much and if you do want to talk take it off the dance floor. I think this pretty well know social etiquette. Maybe I am wrong who knows but that bothered me.

Anyway Prom was fun, my date was nice, and nothing horrific happened which is good.

Snow White

Snow White never was my favorite Disney movie (I prefer Robin Hood) but I watched it today and I thought something. Are you prepared for this? Its profound I warn you. IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND. Just kidding.
But in all seriousness.

In the end the poison apple was the best thing that could have happened to Snow White.

That is all.

I am bored. Boredom=restless, restless=searching for something to do. Which is why I am on this blog which I haven't been on in 2 years.

Or pretty close to that. I just read all my blog posts, its like reading a diary. Boy I haven't changed much. Well I have and I haven't. I always like reading diaries because it reminds me of what problems and thoughts I use to have. It shows the change or the lack thereof change. Now that was fun, talk to you in another 2 years. (I'll be a sophomore in college then! Woah thats a crazy thought!)

Course 2 years ago I couldn't even imagine being a senior and here I am. A senior getting ready to graduate in 2 months give or take a few weeks. So much change.

Speaking of change. Lets talk about change of setting, This is where I am going to be in 2 weeks I AM SO EXCITED. It is suppose to be 71 degrees there tomorrow.... Ahh spring, I love you. Alright I am done now.

A spot on the brain

Hey Long time no talk, or type what ever. I apologize, I was at swim camp, and before that it was finals, you get the picture. 

Anyway, I have something on my mind, rather an idea of sorts and I am warning any one who hates cliche should probably leave because this is going to sound cliche because no matter how hard I try not to be I am just a cliche person. So you know hypothetically when you get something or someone on your mind, and its hard to admit but your just a little obsessed or maybe a lot obsessed, either way its like a spot on your brain, and it just will not go away. You do not want to do anything else.

I have decided that it is very annoying, how does one fix an obsession besides getting rid of what you're obsessing over, which really is not possible especially if it's a person. I mean I guess you can get rid of an objection but people are hard to get rid of.  High school aged kids seem specially prone to doing this, girls in particular about guys and then someone breaks them up and they have to go through this whole withdrawal thing. Which sounds horrid and which I hope never to have to go through. 

On a much more exciting note my sweet sixteen is coming up, what should I do for it? 

Swings

Every notice how when your on the swings and you close your eyes you feel as if you're going so much higher and faster?

Then you have to open your eyes because you feel like you're falling?

I did.

It was awesome! 

I love swings.