Was I right?

A question that plagues me now a days.

Did I make the right choice?

Am I going to the right college?

Should I have held longer?

I blame my indecisiveness on being human. I mean you don't see animals pacing back in fourth trying to decide if they made the right choice in killing that animal so they could eat it. Of course animals usually have smaller less complicated brains.

I want answers. But there sadly is no angel or even a devil on my should telling me I did the right thing. Rather there is an old timid lady sitting in her rocking chair trying to decide whether she made the right choice in colleges 100 years ago.

Football

What do you do around eleven on a Tuesday evening? Sleep HA no. I write blog posts. Crappy blog posts but posts all the same. I just finished watching Friday Night lights. Which is one of those crappy motivational sports movies. Except this one is no where near as good as Remember the Titans. It isn't motivational. Or thats what I was thinking as I watched them lose their big game. Then I realized its not about the winning, its about what they learned from the experience. Which is a great lesson. Sometimes you get so sucked into "winning" that you forget why you were playing in the first place. I think that winning is great but its not the most important thing in the world.

Wow Profound I know. Other then that bit of wisdom, the movie sucked. Like I said it was no where near Remember the Titans which is how I gauge sports movies. On one hand it relied on the football player stereotype (you know big stupid, hunky and complete a-holes) and on the other hand they cried like ever four seconds. Which is fine but I mean seriously there was no character development. And the fact that they didn't win their big game was really depressing. Being the sap that I am I hated that. I hate depressing movies.

You know how at the end, they scroll what each player achieved in their lives? Normally they move on to big and better things. Not these guys, they moved on to be insurance salesmen and truck drivers. I am not kidding. I was expecting something oh you know motivational. I guess that is to much to ask from a crappy sports movie..


The only reason to watch the movie. Or if you like football.

Graduated? Graduated.

I will be the first to admit I am in a foul mood. I know its bad. I wish I could be in an unfoul mood. I mean a lot of things have happened in this week that I should be happy about. First I experienced my very last day of high school. I will never go back to high school. Second is I graduated. I wanted across the stage and shook each of the nameless school board hand, smiled for the cameras and accepted the diploma. An accomplishment that some will never have on their resume. Then the all night party, a fun night where I hung out with all the friends that I have made over the past four years. I love them, they are the nicest group of people I have ever known. They accept me for me instead of me having to change who I am. I think thats a huge blessing for me to have this early in my life.

But even with all these blessings I am still in a foul mood. I wish I could figure out why, maybe its because of all the changes. Or its the relationship things that have been causing me stress. Certain ideas of how relationships work and how they actually work. An overly active imagination and a lack of communication. I want to text said person but he doesn't text me so in order for my pride to stay in tack I don't text him. A great stragety right? Course he probably is just going on with his life with out noticing. He probably doesn't even realize anything is wrong. Because I am a drama queen. When did I turn into such a melodramatic?
Bittersweet is a good word for the feelings that occur during graduation.

I hope I didn't depress anyone and I am not really looking for sympathy, I really just needed to get these feelings off my chest. It doesn't quite feel the same when I write it in a diary. I mean its sort of dangerous to put it up on the web but who cares? I am living life on the edge! Just kidding. Maybe if he reads this he will understand. Maybe..

Goals

I have some goals, like lifetime goals, swimming goals, school goals, and personal goals. But most of them are long term. Like one
is to own a successful resort in a warm place. A swimming goal is to go sub five minutes in my 500.

But I have a new goal. Its more short term and probably much more important. I want to be more nice to my sister. I never had trouble getting along with Gabe (its a twin thing) sure we had our rough patches but we were always able to understand each other because we are going through a lot of the same things. But my sister she is different. I don't know what it is but we can never really see eye to eye. Partly pride on my part and partly teenage stubbornness on her part. So we are both at fault. I always rationalized that arguing and not getting along with your siblings is normal. But is it? I mean shouldn't I be nicer to my family then I am to friends or even strangers? Well thats not how I am. I wish thats how I was. Another of my excuses (an excuse I use to feel less guilty) is that once I grow up and she grows up we will magically get along and we will have the best relationship ever.

I hate to break it to you guys but that doesn't happen and I have realized this. So my goal is to go a day without arguing with her and without saying a snide word.

Now it doesn't count if I don't see her or don't have a conversation with her because whats the point of that? I am going to be the bigger person as of today

Prom

I meant to write this a couple days after prom but I forgot. Or merely didn't have the motivation to write it. Anyway I went to prom it was fun.
Two things that particularly I noticed.
1.) Dancing is just not my thing, Of course I already new this but it became very obvious to me as I began to try and dance in the massively large dress that I picked out. At least at homecoming you have a short dress which doesn't inhibit movement. Anyway its fine as long as you dance with your friends because they don't care.
2.) As I was dancing poorly, it was funny I was swaying listening to the music when all the sudden, a girl (who will go nameless for her benefit and mine) started having a conversation with another girl, which is okay most of the time but she was talking about COLLEGE. Who talks about college at prom? Seriously that was the last thing on my mind at that exact time. I can't figure out why she would do something like that. No offense to her or anything but really when your dancing you don't talk much and if you do want to talk take it off the dance floor. I think this pretty well know social etiquette. Maybe I am wrong who knows but that bothered me.

Anyway Prom was fun, my date was nice, and nothing horrific happened which is good.

Snow White

Snow White never was my favorite Disney movie (I prefer Robin Hood) but I watched it today and I thought something. Are you prepared for this? Its profound I warn you. IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND. Just kidding.
But in all seriousness.

In the end the poison apple was the best thing that could have happened to Snow White.

That is all.

I am bored. Boredom=restless, restless=searching for something to do. Which is why I am on this blog which I haven't been on in 2 years.

Or pretty close to that. I just read all my blog posts, its like reading a diary. Boy I haven't changed much. Well I have and I haven't. I always like reading diaries because it reminds me of what problems and thoughts I use to have. It shows the change or the lack thereof change. Now that was fun, talk to you in another 2 years. (I'll be a sophomore in college then! Woah thats a crazy thought!)

Course 2 years ago I couldn't even imagine being a senior and here I am. A senior getting ready to graduate in 2 months give or take a few weeks. So much change.

Speaking of change. Lets talk about change of setting, This is where I am going to be in 2 weeks I AM SO EXCITED. It is suppose to be 71 degrees there tomorrow.... Ahh spring, I love you. Alright I am done now.